Helping Your Loved One With the Loss of His Spouse

It’s hard to imagine a much greater loss for your elderly father or grandfather than the loss of his wife. Decades spent developing and enjoying a life together can all seem to disappear when a loved one passes, especially if your elderly father or grandfather had been married for decades to his spouse. You might not be sure how to help him through the grieving process. Here are a few gentle tips for a smooth transition, including homemaker services can help.

Grieving is Natural and Healthy

While it’s hard to see someone we love being sad, understanding that grieving is a natural process that if experienced healthily, helps a person move from one state of mind to the next. Yet, grieving can look very differently for everyone so as a bystander, knowing how and when to offer help can be difficult. Add your own grief into the mix from losing someone close to you and you might feel completely unsure of what you should do if anything.

As your loved one grieves, consider these four steps to help him through the process:

• Listen without judgment. Let your loved one be angry if he’s feeling angry, sad if he’s sad, or relieved if he’s relieved (especially common when a loved one passes after being sick for a long time). If he’s willing to share his feelings with you, validate what he has to say and honor how he feels.
• Be patient. Grieving can take a long time for some people. He might not feel like joining in on regular activities for a while or he might want to go visit the gravesite every day. Be respectful and don’t take it personally if he declines an invitation for a family meal but also, keep inviting so he’ll know he’s still welcome even if he’s said ‘No” several times beforehand.
• Keep in contact. Sometimes it can be hard to be with someone who is extremely sad or hurt. Make a point to ensure friends and family continue to remain in contact with the person who has suffered the loss even if he says “I’m fine.” Reaching out consistently and often means that one of those times, your loved one will be at a point where he’s ready to say yes to reconnecting.
• Offer practical help. For many grieving, they can’t motivate themselves to manage normal daily activities like meal planning or mowing the lawn. Offer help to show you care.

Homemaker Services Can Help Your Loved One Get Back to Living on His Own

Many older men who lose their spouses find themselves in a home where they don’t know how to perform many of the routine chores. Perhaps they’ve never needed to iron their shirts or stitch up a rip in their pants. They might have done limited cooking or cleaning. Now that their loved one is gone, they’re not only mourning the loss of the love of their life, they also don’t know how to keep up the home like they used to.

Homemaker services can come to the home and help your loved one with home care responsibilities that he’s not comfortable doing on his own. From making healthy meals to folding laundry to dusting, a homemaker services provider can help with weekly chores as your loved one focuses on healing from his loss.

If you or an aging loved one are considering homemaker services in White Plains, NY, please contact the caring staff at Griswold Care Pairing for Scarsdale & Yonkers today. (914) 337-5028.