How to Handle Family Members Who Don’t Contribute to Caregiving

Caring for a loved one can be deeply fulfilling—but when you’re the only one doing it, frustration and resentment can quickly set in. If you’re handling unhelpful family caregivers, you’re not alone. Many caregivers face this challenge. Here’s how to deal with family members who don’t step up to help.

Why Family Members Don’t Always Help

Before taking action, it’s helpful to understand why some relatives may not contribute:

• They feel uncomfortable with illness or aging
• They live far away or have demanding schedules
• They don’t know how to help
• They assume you’ve got it handled

Whatever the reason, it’s not fair to shoulder the burden alone.

Communicate Clearly and Compassionately

The first step in handling unhelpful family caregivers is to speak up. Don’t assume they know how overwhelmed you are.

How to start the conversation:

• Schedule a family meeting (in person or virtual)
• Explain what caregiving tasks look like day to day
• Ask for specific help—transportation, errands, respite care

👉 Tip: Check out AARP’s guide to family caregiving for helpful tools and conversation starters.

Set Boundaries and Delegate

If you’re constantly burned out, it’s time to set limits and assign tasks. Not everyone has the same strengths—but everyone can do something.

Try this:

• Create a shared calendar for appointments and visits
• Use a group text or app (like CaringBridge or Lotsa Helping Hands)
• Ask for financial help if physical support isn’t possible

Bring in Outside Help When Needed

If your family still won’t help, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck. Consider:

• Hiring professional caregivers, like Griswold Home Care in Raleigh, NC
• Joining a caregiver support group
• Speaking with a social worker or mediator to resolve family tension

Take Care of Yourself, Too

When dealing with family members who don’t help with caregiving, your well-being matters. Caregiver burnout is real—and dangerous.

Self-care strategies:

• Set time aside weekly for yourself
• Practice stress-relieving techniques (walking, journaling, therapy)
• Don’t feel guilty about asking for help

👉 Related reading: How to Cope With Caregiver Guilt

Final Thoughts

Handling unhelpful family caregivers isn’t easy, but you’re not powerless. With communication, boundaries, and outside support, you can protect your mental health and ensure your loved one still receives quality care.